I can't keep loving you
by IamAwriterYAY
Summary: "You left me and I couldn't breathe." Olivia Benson said to him. "We couldn't be together you know that, but we can now." He said. "Thats just the thing Elliot I stopped waiting for you I can't keep loving you not now and not ever again." Olivia told Elliot.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys so this is my first Olivia fanfic. I know some of you guys are used to me writing Rolisi fics, but I really love JaggedHands and Sheepish fanfics so I thought I'd give it a try. Dick Wolf owns everything and enjoy thanks! P.S. might be bad chapter cause I am watching Pretty little liars :p Shout out to my PLL fans!**

 **At home 6:00 am:**

 _Buzz! Buzz!_

I pulled myself out of my slumber and hit my alarm clock.

 _Noah!_

My son is the first thing that came to mind everyday and night. He is my life. He is my everything. I love him more than anything and anyone in the world.

I get out of my bed to go pick up the screaming Noah.

"Hey Naoh, are ya hungry." Olivia cooed.

Noah nodded in a playful manner and let his mother pick him up.

I feed my son and started to get ready for the day. Once Lucy came I went to work like any other day. Or so I thought it was any other day.

 **Precinct 9:00 am:**

"Good Morning everyone. Rollins not in yet?" Olivia wasn't very fond of her youngest detective. She is a great detective but she can be very reckless. She just does things before she thinks.

"Naw she called in sick but you weren't here so I told her I would tell you." Fin told her.

"She hasn't called in sick since the five years she has worked here." Olivia grumbled.

"Well I'll swing by her apartment and check up on her around lunch." Fin told Olivia.

Olivia nodded and walked into her office.

 **Precinct 1:00 pm:**

At 1pm Fin went into Olivia's office to tell her that he was going to go to Amanda's apartment much to his surprise Olvia said she wanted to go.

"Are ya sure?" Fin asks Olivia.

"Yeah her apartment is right by the bank so we'll stop at the bank on your way to Amanda." Olivia replied.

"Alright but I gotta tell ya Amanda didn't call in sick. Kim had to do it for her. Which probably means Kim did something dumb and needs to cover it up." Fin explains to Olivia.

"And why didn't you tell me this before?" Olivia teases.

"Sorry Liv, but I'm not one to go snitch on my partner." Fin shrugged.

"Uh-huh." Liv smirked and grabbed her coat.

 **Amanda's Apartment 2:15 pm:**

"Hey Kim its Fin and Olivia open up." Fin knocked on the door.

The door swung open showing Kim and her disheveled hair. "Sorry right now isn't a great time come back later!" Kim swung the door in there faces.

Suddenly Fin pulled out a key and Olivia gave him **"THE LOOK".** All Fin did laugh.

"Amanda get out the bathroom please!" Kim banged on the door. And Amanda giggled like a child in the bathroom.

"Ok Kim what is going on with Amanda?" Fin asked?

"Amanda took one of my pills for my bipolar disorder. She must have been so out of it she thought it was Tylenol." Kim admitted.

"Ok Kim what kind of pills are your bipolar disorder pills." Olivia runs her fingers through her hair.

"Um they are called Lamictal and it slows down your brain so you can comprehend things. Since Amanda doesn't have all the same problems as me she is basically high." Kim stated.

Olivia took a mental note of the part when Kim said, "All the same problems." meaning the both have similar problems.

"Ok that should wear off soon. Finn can you look after these two, Carisi just caught a case." Olivia looked at the text message Carisi just sent her.

"Alright Liv I'll text you when she is better." Finn called out as Olivia walked out of the apartment.

 **Precinct 3:00 pm:**

"Alright Carisi what we got?" Olivia asked as soon as she walked in.

"Rape victim female early 20's suspect is Elliot Stabler." Carisi stated.

"What!" Olivia yelled which made the whole precinct jump.

 **Hey guys I hope you liked this chapter I know it isn't very long but it is pretty eventful. I would write more but it is 3 am and i gotta sleep or I will be up until like 7 am. Thanks guys bye**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Guys this story has been doing pretty well for a** **first chapter. I'm so glad you guys love this story as much as I do. I'm not sure how long I want to continue this story so yall just pm me or put it in the reviews. Dick Wolf owns everything. So yeah let's get to it!**

"Lieutenant? Are you ok?" Carisi asked.

"I'm fine Carisi just give me a minute." Olivia walked into one of the empty interrogation rooms.

 _Ok, Olivia you know Elliot would never do something like this it's probably a miss understanding it has to be, right?_

Olivia thought to herself. Olivia walked out of the interrogation room and into the next one where Elliot and Carisi were.

"Lawyer." Is all Elliot said and just how Olivia walked in the room she walked right back out.

"He doesn't need a lawyer," Tucker said as he walked into the conference room.

"One, who gave you permission to be in here and two, what do you mean he doesn't need a lawyer?" Olivia questioned.

"He has been working on an undercover operation for IAB so he is protected. Release him from your custody." Tucker said.

Neither Carisi or Olivia moved.

"What are you waiting for me to say please?" Tucker yelled.

"Couldn't hurt," Olivia said not moving an inch.

"Pleaseee." Tucker sarcastically dragged the word.

"Now was that so hard?" Olivia smirked as she and Carisi walked out the room.

 **8:00p.m. Olivia's Apartment:**

As Olivia tucked n Noah she couldn't help, but to think of Elliot. So she texted him.

 ** _Hey._**

Olivia texted him and barely a minute later he texted her back.

 ** _Hey, can we talk in person?_**

Olivia was a little confused had her simple text given him a huge complex conversation that could only be spoken in person.

 _ **Sure, meet me at the La coffee in 20?**_

Olivia needed to know what was going on.

 _ **Works for me.**_

 **La Coffee 8:20 p.m.:**

"Hey Elliot, you wanted to talk?" Olivia said.

"Look I know you have some questions and that will all be answered in time," Elliot said.

"Elliot forget what happened in the squad room, where have you been for the past 6 years? God, you didn't even call me back after I'd called you about 10 times!" Olivia yelled.

"I'm sorry I was undercover I didn't want to blow the operation." Elliot apologized.

"Yeah because I so haven't talked to you during an undercover operation before. Elliot, I went to many of your ops and saved your ass!" Olivia pointed out.

"I had to do this alone. You used to be one of my favorite people, but things changed we were just pulling each other down and I needed something to make me feel like I wasn't useless. Olivia, you are so great at your job it's like you don't need anyone else. I just wanted to grow, for us both to grow." Elliot held Olivia's hand.

"Elliot you didn't say goodbye and I was alone." Olivia moved her hand away from his.

"We couldn't be together then, but now we can be." Elliot smiled.

"That's the thing, Elliot, I stopped loving you a long time ago and I'll never love you again." Olivia walked out of the coffee shop.

 **A/N: Sorry I know this chapter wasn't very long I have been having some writers block so if anyone has any ideas or things they look forward to please pm me or review. I read it all. Thanks for reading byeee!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** **Hey, so this chapter will be a little Rollivia friendship and for all those E/O fans out there I need to know should they be a thing or should they just be friends. I kinda think Olivia is getting a little overwhelmed with her job you know. If you have seen season 19 episode 2 it shows Olivia getting a little aggravated with all thats going on. In the end I think I want her to retire. Not sure tell me what yall think**

 **Precinct** **8:30 am:**

"Hey, Liv in yet?" Amanda asked as she wrapped her coat on her chair.

"Yeah, but I told her you were running late." Fin laughed.

"What's so funny?" Amanda sat down with her sunglasses still on.

"I know why you have sunglasses on." Fin smirked.

"Really because I have absolutely no idea of how it happened." Amanda said.

"Well I kinda took a video and sent it to you and a few others you should check it out." Fin smiled all mysterious like.

Amanda quickly took out her phone and put in one of her earbuds.

"Finnnnnnnnnnn." Amanda slured her words.

"Yes Amanda?"Fin laughed.

"Are you recordin meeee?" Amanda's accent was really coming out in the video.

"Yes I am." Fin said.

"Wanna hear me sing?" Amanda shook her head while watching herself.

"Sure, Amanda's gonna love this tomorrow." Fin laughed.

"You you meant the world to me. Then you went World War Three. You you love so mercilessly. And left me out to bleed. Guns out, lets go, I'll be your fighter if you say so. Shots fired, I see the battlefield is filled with fatality." Amanda's mouth was hanging open did she really just sing Ruth B.

"You never tood me you sang." Fin told the now dizzy blond.

"I used to he in chior at church and I also used be the president of the Acapellas." Amanda knew everytime you say the Acapellas you have sing it.

"Well you're pretty good." Fin said as if he was shocked.

Amanda paused the video and took out the earbud. "Who did you send this to?" Amanda looked as if she had seen a ghost.

"Just Nick, Carisi, everyone in Chicago who works with intelligence, oh and Liv." Fin smirked.

"What, you sent it to Liv and Nick. Ughhhhhhh." Amanda exaggerated her sigh.

"Rollins my office." Olivia called from the doorway of her office and Amanda gave Finn **THE LOOK**.

"Yes, lieutenant." Amanda stood at the doorway closing the door by standing close just in case she needed to flee.

"Are you feeling better?" Olivia's question surprised Amanda.

"Umm... yeah,yeah, I'm better." Amanda stuttered.

"Oh and Rollins nice voice." Amanda was stunned and like she thought she would need to do she fled the scene back to her desk tryinh to look as normal as possible.

Amanda looked extremely white and that was saying alot because of her usual warm color.

 **Precinct 10:00am:**

"Olivia, they took her- she's gone-they took her. You have to help me. She... she's gone." Elliot Stabler ran into the precinct like a crazy man.

"What, Elliot you have to calm down." Olivia walked tiwards him.

Once Elliot was calm enough to make since, he told Olivia what happened.

"The men I was undercover with took Allison because they found out I was undercover so they took her I don't know what they are planning but when I was undercover with them they did horrible things to women." Elliot complained.

"Allison Webster, isn't she the one that claimed you raped her." Olivia asked.

"Yeah it's all part of the undercover, but I think they think that I would give up all this information about them and the ring." Elliot explained.

"Elliot you know the only way for someone to get out the ring is by someone going in the ring." Olivia stated aleady knowing what he was going to say next.

"I know thats why I need Rollins to go in." Elliot said.

Olivia knew why already. During Amanda's undercover operation with Declan, the people who ran the ring also worked at the gambling joint. After the operation was over everyone turned to Amanda because her cover was never blown, but the joint got shut down and many of the workers and gamblers were put in jail. If Amanda ever goes to another joint they said they would take her and make her work her debt off her back.

"Why her, why not a tranie or someone else?" Carisi asked.

"Because I would immediately be put into a ring if I even look at the wrong person. They also know I wouldn't tell anyone if I was put in the ring." Amanda said and bit her lip.

"IAB is already trying to do the op. They just need Rollins." Elliot said.

"Well, Rollins do you want to go undercover?" Olivia looked at me with pleg eyes.

"Sure its just another undercover operation I do them all the time." Amanda said sitting back down at her desk.

"Yeah, sure..." Olivia said as she and Elliot walked into her office.

 **So guys I'm really sorry this update has taken so long. Also it seems like I'm incapable of writing a fanfic that isn't basically fully Amanda. Cause honestly if it was up to me the show would be called the Amanda show w/ others. Oh look I see a yellow butterfly. I'm a name her butterfinger. Anyway byeee kids. Please review it really makes my day.**


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